The Year of Magical Thinking

The truth is that it has finally happened. I have lost the will to write now. Maybe I have just accepted the fact that I wasn’t capable of writing as much as I wanted to. I tried and it just didn’t work out for me. Many of the things which haven’t worked out for me lately.

The problem I lies in the fact that I begin to believe in dreams which don’t exist. Things which have no basis begin to become the center on my world for some odd reason. A sorry state to be in I know. But is it wrong if that is what gives you happiness? Temporarily? I don’t know what permanent happiness is. or if there is a state as such as well. Maybe not.

My year of magical thinking has been a very long one. Longer still is this part which doesn’t seem to end. I think am being torn apart in being who I want to be and what I am. Dreams and hopes and aspirations are each so different now and so profound that I cannot deny them. But then too they’re all un attainable.

Setting goals was easy but it is very difficult to just stick with them. I don’t think am capable.