Sunday, July 30, 2006

Ruminations - Part 10

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill, or whatever else you fancied. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it's not so important that it's happily ever after --just that it's happy right now.

An Affair To Remember

"There must be something between us, even if it's only an ocean."

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Ruminations - Part 9

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Ruminations - Part 8

Someone said that the key to surviving a life is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.

Ruminations - Part 7

There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Alive Again

All alone
I must stand
Even when I'm running
And it feels
Like a dream
I need to awaken from

I believe
When it hurts
We must keep on trying
But I want
And I need
Like a river needs the rain

There's a bridge I need to burn before I leave
I just wanna breathe again
Like a summer's day I need to feel the heat again

I Only Wanna Keep The Stone From Rolling
I Only Wanna Learn To Feel The Rain
Then Maybe I Could Stop The Leaves From Falling
I Only Wanna Learn To Freeze The Flame
I Know I'll Be Alive Again
I Wanna Be Alive Again

Here's the night
Where's the stars
'Coz I need some guiding
And it cuts
Like a knife
As I watch you walk away

There's a bridge I need to burn before I leave
I just wanna to live again
Like a stormy rain i need to hear it beat again


I Only Wanna Keep The Stone From Rolling
I Only Wanna Learn To Feel The Rain
Then Maybe I Could Stop The Leaves From Falling
I Only Wanna Learn To Freeze The Flame
I Know I'll Be Alive Again


‘Coz I did my best
Baby who'd have guessed
That I've failed the test
‘Coz when love ain't blessed
And it's laid to rest
It can leave a mess

I Know I'll Be Alive Again
I Wanna Be Alive Again

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Ruminations - Part 6

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. But how do you keep from drowning in it?

Ruminations - Part 5

Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ruminations - Part 4

Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself." Boil down that island talk, and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. And in my opinion that someone can have four legs. Someone to play with or run around with, or just hang out.

Ruminations - Part 3

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Diva's Part 2



Meena Kumari in the 1960 Dil Apna Aur Preet Parayi,the tragedy Queen.

Ruminations - Part 2

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Ruminations - Part 1

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.